I really hesitate to post or even write this, because it is so ‘un-good’ in my goodness posts, but maybe my experience will help someone else.
I have a gardening situation, well, a community garden situation. For the past four days in a row, as I take my family with me to water, the neighbor adjacent to the garden area has come out of her house with a radio, turned to an obnoxious station in a language she herself neither uses nor understands, increases it to a rude volume and returns inside. The past two of those days I saw her taking pictures of us with her i-pad, or tablet. Today her encounter prompted an altercation of downright harassment.
It turns out she has been purposely trying to provoke us for a reaction so that she has a ‘case’ to get a free privacy fence out of the non for profit that hosts the very well maintained garden sites.
This particular garden has a beautiful labyrinth of planted flowers and friendly other gardeners and care takers. I think part of me is in shock.I just can’t believe this is happening, right? This is my third year of gardening there, I paid my cash and planted all my food already, and now I am contemplating digging out all my plants over this one woman’s un-predictable antics that are causing me angst and anguish, the opposite of what the garden is supposed to be doing for me, a calm respite.
For me, gardening is a part of my spiritual prayer life, the only music I want to be hearing is bird song and children laughing. What gives this person the right to violate me, and intrude on my privacy?
But worst of all, why is this bothering me so much? Am I not master of my own domain, master of my space, master of my thoughts?
It is so easy to fall into the slide of victim. “How dare this person be doing this to me, threatening my family”. It is unjust. I don’t deserve the projection of anger that the hostile neighbor has laid at me, and neither does said neighbor deserve my attention or thoughts. My only excuse is that neighbor has involved my children and family. My mother bear instinct has gone into protect the cubs mode.
Fight, or flight? Is that really all there is?